Lifestyle Motherhood

Bubbles, My Angel.

My Bubbles, my angel. My little girl passed away on, May 3, 2020. During this horrible pandemic, many people loved you so very much, so many were unable to meet you or say goodbye. I know we only spent such a short amount of time together, but I cherished every moment that was given. Raelynn, you were the little girl I always wanted. You taught me how to love harder and have more patience.

Your smiles have been stuck in my head. If I could change every moment that led to this, believe me I would. Everyday I regret that Saturday, when we fell. I replay every scenario in my head in what I could have done differently. So many people try to reassure me that I did everything I could. But, as your mommy I feel like there was so much more I could have or should have done. I feel lost without you here.

When you were first born, I remember the doctor laying you on my chest and I just started tearing up, I knew right then and there you were perfect. I wanted to give you the world. I know you fought so hard. When the doctors told me you were never going to be able to take your first steps or say your first words, I was heartbroken. I knew you were gone, I feel like I failed you as a mother. I had so much hope and wanted a miracle to happen. I prayed…we all prayed, just hoping this nightmare would go away.

I would do anything in this world to just hold you one last time and see that beautiful smile. It breaks my heart that your big brother couldn’t give you a kiss goodbye. He adores you, baby girl. He was so happy to be a big brother, he always wanted to hold you and help as much as he could. He keeps asking for his baby sister. Please let him know you are okay. I know you’ll be watching over him keeping Gabriel safe.

I love you, pumpkin. I miss you dearly. I want to thank you for making me your mommy. God gave me such a precious gift. Even though you are in heaven, I will always be here for you.

I laid you down every night saying close your eyes and see angels. Now, everytime I close my eyes, I see you. The most beautiful angel in the world.

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